Similarly, if your child is dealing with a peer conflict, ask her how she thinks it should be resolved, and give her a chance to try it.
When you talk to her afterward, ask for permission to share some advice.
These are the natural consequences of an action – not just punitive consequences from a parent or other adult, but the social and emotional implications for everyone involved in the solution.“If I am having a problem with my friend, for example, and instead of solving it, I yell at them, and then I walk away, the natural consequence is that person probably doesn’t really want to be my friend anymore,” says Kennedy.
“And maybe the other people around that person who witnessed are kind of having weird thoughts, or are thinking ‘Gosh, that seems like an overreaction.’ And so those are some kind of natural consequences that then occur.
” is a parent’s primary way to exert authority and resolve conflict, they are not giving kids the tools to thrive, and are who solve every problem and shield their children from accepting responsibility are better.
“Basically, if parents do the problem solving for their children, that becomes a learned helplessness that follows them, and whenever they encounter a problem they immediately assume that somebody else is going to solve it for them,” explains Alison Kennedy, Ed. “As they start to get older and older, through elementary school and middle school and even high school, kids suffer from this learned helplessness, and any problem they encounter they assume most of the time that a parent is going to swoop in and solve.”As a result of this learned helplessness, kids struggle with advocating for themselves or resolving minor peer conflicts.
Shape sorters and puzzles are classic problem-solving toys.
Board games help kids think critically and detect patterns.
You know that look: Your child is faced with some problem—a playmate who won’t share, a school project he saved for the last minute—and his eyes flicker up to you. Although it would likely be faster and easier for you to fix it yourself, often the biggest favor you can do for your child is to let him try to figure it out on his own.
In teaching kids problem-solving skills, you teach them independence and help build their confidence.